Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Vote 'Yahu, Vote B-Net

At the risk of falling off the narrow, two-state path I so dearly tread, I advise you all to vote Benjamin Netanyahu for Prime Minister of Israel. There are plentiful reasons to crawl along this radical, illogical line. For instance, the parents of Tzipi Livni were strongly involved in Irgun, a Zionist movement that aimed to overcome the British occupancy that marred the East Mediterranean until that fateful day in 1948 when Israel won its nationhood at the expense of a few million Palestinians and their respective livelihoods. A country that wishes to subsist peacefully in the Middle East cannot bear such bloodlines in its highest office, but that is just one reason to vote Netanyahu.
The thing with B-Net (which ironically sounds a little similar to B'Tselem) is that he can appeal to many tastes. If you have a problem with the Israeli military incursions into neighbouring countries, your favourite 'Yahu has something to offer. He successfully alienated the Clinton clan in 1998 when he pointedly met with Silly Billy's foes, including one Newt Gringrich. Now that President Obama has whipped out a master stroke and appointed Silly Hilly as Secretary of State, one can be reasonably sure that the unquestioned financial and military favours will not continue. Vote B-Net, vote peace.
Perhaps most importantly, the world currently possesses one prominent, quotable Head of State, "Uncle" Hugo Chavez. A vote for 'Yahu will give the press another mirthful opportunity. The ongoing preparations for the United States and Iran to shoot breeze at one another will surely light a fire under a man such as B-Net. And you know what that means? More gems, such as "It’s 1938, and Iran is Germany and Iran is racing to arm itself with atomic bombs." In a reverse scenario, the speaker would be jailed for anti-semitism or forced to recant by the Pope but no, 'Yahu's just a yahoo, so we can look forward to more controversial hilarity if B-Net becomes President.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Snow Snow Snow

Here in the UK, the big guy in the sky only typically allows one, maybe two days of noticeable snowfall per year. In the past week, it has snowed for six days. In Cambridgeshire, many students have only had two or three days in the classroom over the corresponding time frame. But why? Despite the unusual frequency of the snowfall, no day saw more than 2 inches of snow. Even when the snow was falling thick and fast, as in this morning, Cambridge kept ticking along. For a first, the trains were early and there appeared to be little delay for buses in the city center. My surprise that school remained open emanated more from the pattern established by the surprise closings the previous few days rather than any serious concern over our safety and well being. Evidently, the school bore no real such concerns as well - teachers and staff had no real problem with the pitched snowball battles on and around campus so I gradually became used to the idea that school was going to be on. With exams creeping ever closer, we simply can't afford to miss more school time. Thankfully, the school coped well today with the snow so with any luck we have seen the last of the disturbances.
This isn't a complete knock on the government infrastructure here. Whilst so-called pragmatism has seen the economy take a £3 billion hit and grit supplies all but eliminated, the country has proven that a few inches of snow are quite a small obstacle to overcome. Obviously in more westerly regions such as Dorset, which saw over 20 inches of snow in places, severe disruption is inevitable but such conditions were rare across the country as a whole. The problem was more the inexperience of dealing with the snow rather than any practical problems caused by it. That is a mercifully small barrier to overcome so with any luck, normality will return within the coming days.